Recalling a Traumatic Fall

Hi folks, long time no talk.  It's been a long while since I composed a personal blog, and a lot has changed in the last 5 years.  To keep things short, I'll summarize very quickly: I'm married and have a three year old daughter.  Life has been wonderful, but hectic.  It limits my time to write, but I wouldn't change things for the world.  That being said, there is a reason why I have returned to write a blog today.  You see, most recently I have come into a lot more free time - certainly unplanned.  I experienced an accident in home that changed my world.

It was Saturday, November 9 around 6 P.M.  We had just finished dinner and my parents had stopped over to the house on their way home from shopping in town.   My wife, Melissa and I had originally planned an evening out, which was supposed to include going to see a movie and dinner.  I changed plans and decided not to go, seeing how tired I was and thinking I might have difficulty staying awake during the movie.  I had started cleaning out our daughter's play room, which still was in disarray since we moved into the house this past summer.  So we decided to stay home and clean house, essentially.  Since my parents were still over, I didn't want to ignore them until they left, but Melissa thought it would be a good idea to continue putting some of her books away by moving them from that room into our family room.  And she could put books away and still visit while my parents were over.  I was okay with that.

Our house is considered a tri-level (to be precise, you could even call it a quad-level).  So from my daughter's play room to the family room is one level down.  To continue the cleaning process, I grabbed a box of books to bring down a small flight of stairs over to my wife.  My daughter was with my mom who were close by in my daughter's bedroom playing.  My wife, father-in-law (who also lives with us), and dad were in the family room visiting.  I've carried stuff up and down these stairs countless times with no issues.  But I do recall slipping and tripping up a couple of times; but managed to regain myself.  Yet, it was this one particular trip down these stairs that did me in.

Upon descending the stairs, I go down a couple of steps normally, no problem.  But then something happens.  I lose my focus and end up missing a step.  So instead of naturally stepping down the next stair, I fall down to the next step and land very awkwardly on my left foot, essentially dislocating my ankle and breaking three bones in my ankle.  I knew right away something was wrong. It happened so fast; and I'd like to say I remember feeling or hearing something snap, but I can't recall.  All I knew was that something definitely was not right.  I fell the rest of the way down the stairs, ontop of the box of books I was carrying, onto the carpeting below.  I am thankful the books were there to break my fall, otherwise the injury could have been worse.  But the damage was done to my ankle.  I yelled out, "I'm hurt," "help," and then "my leg, my leg, my leg" over and over.  The pain was excruciating.  I never felt anything like it in my life.  I didn't dare touch it, fearing it would hurt all the more.  When I fell, I fell straight on my stomach.  I kept my injured foot up in the air and elevated, figuring that was the best position to keep it in until I could be moved.  My wife knew it was going to be impossible to bring me to the ER with how out of place my foot was, so she called for an ambulance.  They came in a relatively short amount of time, gave me something for the pain, and loaded me onto a stretcher to the ER.  They finally were able to position me on my back instead of laying flat on my stomach on the stretcher.  Thankfully we're not all that far from the hospital and was treated in short order.

While in the ER, they reset the foot so that the bones were aligned like they were supposed to be.  And no, I don't remember them doing this because I was put out (thank god). But because I broke the three bones around my ankle, I would end up needing surgery.  I didn't have a compound fracture so I didn't need immediate surgery.   I ended up having a consult with an orthopedic surgeon that next Tuesday and having the procedure done Wednesday.  I am happy to say that I am back on the mend.  I've been doing a lot of resting, a lot of binge watching TV, and not putting any weight on the ankle.  It'll be at least another 4 in a half weeks before I'll be able to put weight on it.  But at least I can say the worst is behind me.

Needless to say, I've experienced a lot of firsts with this accident.  First broken bone(s), first surgery, first major medical incident.  And I hope it ends up being the last for quite some time.  It truly changes your life once you can't do the normal things you essentially take for granted doing as a healthy being.  But I have a goal to be able to do all of the activities I was able to do before the accident.  It'll take a lot of work along with physical therapy. But I am committed to getting back to that point.  Will my ankle ever be the same?  Who knows?  But it shouldn't limit the activities I was able to enjoy prior to the accident.  And you can bet the next time I end up carrying something down those stairs, I'll go about it much differently. Safety first.

The Love of a Lifetime

It's no secret that I've written in my blog here about my relationship struggles.  I've had plenty of crushes and simple relationships, but nothing that was ever serious.   My last relationship was a two-year affair with a girl in which I had never even held her hand.  It didn't feel like that relationship could ever go anywhere other than just being a friendship.  Why I let it go that far is beyond me.  Part of me knew that it wasn't going to work out.  But I kept holding on hope for a break through.  Finally, she was the one that ended it.  During my adult years, I've had a lot of soul searching and figuring out to do when it came to how I wanted to pursue a relationship. Part of me began to wonder if I'd be single my whole life.  Now that I am in my 30's, I was beginning to think that was becoming more of a distinct possibility.  However, things are looking up in the relationship department.

I began talking with this girl last fall through match.com.  She seemed like a really great person with a lot going on in her life.  The only problem was that we lived about an hour in a half away.  But that was a pretty minor convenience.  Our conversations early on started out small - with simple messages asking how each other's days were going.  Things slowly progressed and we gradually got to know each other better.  It was around Christmas time where we met for the first time.  We had a nice lunch date together and I knew that there was the potential for something special to develop.  We continued texting each other, visiting each other and we began to get closer.

One thing that complicates matters a little bit is our distance apart.  Soon after we first started talking to each other, she took another job even further away from where she lived.  Instead of an hour in a half, it became a four hour drive.  But I considered it only a minor inconvenience.  She is originally from near where I live, so I had thought that someday she'd like to move back up here, if things happened to work out.  She is a school teacher and so she's out for summer break.  That doesn't mean she has the entire summer to herself, though. So luckily, she's staying with her parents for the summer and that gives us an even better chance to be together and get to know each other all the more.  So far, it's been a glorious summer to remember.  

I feel like I'm on cloud nine.  I can honestly say I've never been a in relationship that has made me feel so good.  She is fun to be with, she makes me laugh, and I love to listen to what she has to say.  There's a definite spark there and I see big potential with this one.  It's not like the other relationships I've been in where I kept wondering if it would really ever work out.  I mean, our relationship is still pretty new and we still have things we need to learn about each other.  But we're off to a terrific start.  This really could be the love of my lifetime.  Even though I had a late start in having a true relationship, it's better than it's late than never at all.  I have strong feelings for this girl and I think that we could have a wonderful life together, if things continue on the path that they're going.

UPDATE: I am pleased to say the girlfriend in this blog posting is now my wife!!!  Going on 5 years.  :)

Demolition of Old Jamrich Hall

It finally happened.  After being in the planning process and in construction for several years, the new Jamrich Hall on Northern Michigan University's campus in Marquette slowly began to rise and as of this month, is nearly close to being finished.  At first a new building wasn't even in the picture as plans were in place to remodel the existing Jamrich Hall.  But eventually the university found that a new building would end up costing just as much as remodeling the existing building, and they'd actually be downsizing the amount of space they needed campus-wide by consolidating two buildings into one.  It makes sense and I completely understand why they went that route.  In today's public university funding shortfalls, colleges and universities across the country are looking at ways to save money.  And if they have less infrastructure to maintain, then it will provide for some cost savings for higher education institutions.  Despite all that, it was still sad for me to see the old Jamrich Hall on campus come crumbling down this week.

I have a lot of memories from that old building and not just those from when I attended college at NMU.  I think it all first started when I was a young kid in elementary school.  Each year Young Authors was held in that building.  For as long as I can remember, during each grade we created a story of our own, made it into a book, and presented it at Young Authors.  Then there was a gathering at the end of the day in the large lecture hall in Jamrich where an accomplished author would come and speak.  It wasn't just our school that attended, but schools from all across Marquette and Alger Counties.  So we got to meet other kids from different areas, too.  At the time, I can say that I hated the experience, especially when I had to be in a group where I knew none of the kids.  But looking back on it now, I think it was a pretty worth-while experience, and one that took place in the old Jamrich Hall.

Another memorable grade school experience from that building came when the Science Olympiad competitions were held on campus.  Now the majority of the time, the focus of that competition was in another building on campus.  But at the end of the competition during the awards ceremony, that took place in the old Jamrich Hall, once again in the large lecture all, room 102.   For our school and our Science Olympiad teams, we always excelled and often won first and second place, not just our junior high team, but our high school team as well.  Each competition it always seemed like we metaled in, so members of our school would always be up on stage when our school name was announced as winners for each event and eventually, for the entire competition.  When we'd either win first or second place as a team, it meant we moved on in the competition and competed at the state level.  The statewide competition for Science Olympiad was held at Michigan State University.  So the ramifications of winning the "local" competition were pretty big and exciting.  But I remember many awards ceremonies in that building and all of them were positive experiences.  Many times it was pure jubilation and glee after our school came away with many metals and trophies.

And now for my college experiences in old Jamrich Hall, where the bulk of my memories exist inside that building.  As a freshman, most of my classes took place away from Jamrich, as I was a computer networking major.  So at the time, I had a lot of classes in the science buildings.  But eventually as I changed my major from being computer-based to English, the bulk of my classes would end up taking place in Jamrich Hall. Let me just say this; all in all there wasn't anything structurally amazing about the building.  It was basically a big square box; the first floor having all of the large lecture halls and the upstairs holding the smaller, more intimate classrooms.  I thought it had a bit of a unique design, however.  Each corner of the building had an entryway.  Each of the four doorways leading to the upstairs were painted a different color: red, yellow, blue, and green.  If I had to guess, I'd say it was for if someone were to get lost, then they knew which entryway they came from.  The main floor had curved hallways, which the outer walls of the larger lecture halls were also shaped in such a way.  Other than that, it was your basic university lecture hall.  Lots of brick, cinder block, floor tile, ceiling tile, chalkboards, desks, tables, benches, you name it.  I don't think there was one semester where I didn't have a class in that building.  It may not have been an amazing building to look at or set foot in, but it's one where I have many memories being in.  And I guess that's why it makes it sad when it's coming down.

I experienced this one other time in my life, when a major instructional building faces the wrecking ball.  I can say that I was too little to really be too attached to that particular building but for many in our small community, it held so many spectacular memories.  It was the old high school building and when demolition day came, you can imagine it created quite a stir to see the limestone structure come crashing down.  That was nearly 25 years ago and the community has since moved on and embraced the new school building.  A famous quote came from that experience and I still remember it to this day.  "It's sad, but necessary;" someone commented regarding the demolition.  And in the case of old Jamrich Hall, it truly is sad, but necessary.  I have learned this week that one of the reasons why it became so costly to renovate the old building was due to its sinking foundation.  It would have taken a lot of money to address that situation.  So, as much as I would have liked to have seen the old building renovated and kept around for many more years to come, I think it's time to move forward.  A grand new building has risen on NMU's campus, one that will be around for many generations to come.  It will still hold the Jamrich name and will be embraced like every other building on campus.  Yet the memories I hold from old Jamrich Hall will never fade.  It will be the same for every other person who attended NMU and had classes in that building.  I will miss that old building and I regret not setting foot inside one last time.  However, life goes on. But memories never truly die.

Marquette's Bonanza Restaurant Closes

The Marquette area lost another long-time eatery when the Bonanza Steakhouse along US-41 West shut down its doors after 37 years in business.  The restaurant's closing has taken many by surprise, especially the sudden nature of the closure.  Bonanza has been open my entire life, and I remember many visits to the establishment.  Even during the most recent years, it seemed as if the restaurant always had a good crowd taking in their food.  The service from the staff was always top notch and the food was just as good.  And now, the restaurant becomes all but just a memory.

One of the first times I visited Bonanza was when I was just a little boy.  I believe my sister had a birthday party there because I remember her getting a cake with a sparkler for a candle, a staple for a Bonanza birthday celebration.  She had her friends there and she even received a goldfish for a birthday present.  I don't remember a whole lot more about the experience, but I can recall the fun atmosphere of that day, the attentiveness of the staff, and just the overall good time that we had.  There were a number of times afterwards that my family and I visited the restaurant; most recently in December for my mom's birthday meal.  I ordered the signature angus burger with the salad bar.  It certainly did not disappoint.  And to have my sisters, my parents, and I there will be a great memory to cherish of my last visit to the restaurant before it closed.

Always a highlight to the restaurant was the soft-serve ice cream you could dispense yourself in a small dish and eat up. I always made myself a hot caramel sundae during most visits there.  Over the years they added other desserts to the salad bar that were hard to turn down.  Muffins, lemon bars, pudding - you name it.  Next to the ice cream, they would be difficult to pass up.  It was so easy to over eat!  Another neat feature of this Bonanza restaurant was the large cheese block as part of the salad bar. You'd be able to scrape however much cheese you wanted out of the cheese block with a utensil.  I know when I was little, that was such a fun thing to do and I loved the taste of that cheese.  Unfortunately most recently, the health department told the restaurant staff to do away with the cheese block due to health and safety concerns.  So one small part of the restaurant had to change, and not by their choosing.  Still, it wasn't enough in my view to stop visiting the establishment.

Owner Mitch Lazeren cited a changing economy as one of the primary reasons for the closure.  Increased wages, higher tax rates throughout the years and ever increasing food costs also made the difficult decision a reality for Lazeren.  The closure announcement came out on Friday, January 24 and by the next day, the restaurant was already out of food and was shut down, even though it was supposed to be opened one more day longer.  And just like that, another long-time eatery in Marquette is all but just a memory.  I think if you asked a lot of people around Marquette and the surrounding communities which restaurant would be the next to close in the area, you'd get little if anyone to guess Bonanza.  It's why many in the community were shocked of the announcement and how some even days later are still surprised that it's closed.

It's easy for us to speculate and to ask ourselves why management could no longer make operating the restaurant a viable option for the community.  But we are not the ones having to manage the finances, the payroll, and the mortgages/property taxes.  Mitch and his team had an amazing run operating his Bonanza Steakhouse in this community, outliving other similar restaurants such as Ponderosa and Ranch Steak & Seafood that closed up long ago.  And you'd have to think that the building will not sit empty for long, sitting alongside the busy US-41 corridor in Marquette township.  Still, whatever goes in there next will never live down the memories that we all have of the Bonanza Steakhouse that sat in that building for so long.

How Much Longer will the Empire Mine Run?

Ahh, to be a miner in the Marquette Iron Range.  I have been employed with Cliffs Natural Resources for over eight years now and have seen a lot of the ups and downs in the industry.  Luckily I have been able to avoid every layoff that has occurred during my employment, but all it would take is one major downturn and all of us miners would be laid off.  That is how volatile the iron industry can get.  Ten years ago, I was a summer student at the Empire Mine, the same facility I am employed at today.  There was a major flooding event that year that ended up closing a nearby power plant that supplied the energy needed to run the mines in the Marquette Range.  I missed out of a month's worth of employment that summer.  When the mine resumed production, I remember being at a meeting with a room-full of other hourly employees, discussing the future of the Empire facility.  In 2003, it was discussed that the mine would probably only run another three or four more years and then close.  Ten years later, the facility still operates.  But how much longer will it keep going?

Back in March of this year, the former President and CEO of Cliffs Natural Resources, Joseph Carrabba, spoke at a meeting of business and economic leaders in the Marquette area to discuss the state of the company and specifically, business interests in the Marquette Iron Range.  It was stated at that meeting that the Empire mine would be slowing down and would cease production at the end of 2014.  So far the company maintains that stance and nothing else has been released officially stating otherwise.  ArcelorMittal, a prominent steel-making company in the United States and world-wide, owns a percentage of the Empire Mine and has a contract to take a portion of the pellets that the Empire produces, a contract set to expire at the end of 2014.  Earlier this year, ArcelorMittal signed a new ten-year contract with a different supplier, Essar Steel in Minnesota.   They are set to produce the exact same type of pellet that the Empire mine produced for years.  However, there is a significant problem with that mine in Minnesota; it's not even built yet and far from producing any sort of iron ore pellets.

The Essar Steel plant is a completely new facility that is trying to get itself off the ground but has faced various problems in getting things up and running.  Supposedly one of the contractor's building the facility poured some of the footings for the main processing facility wrong, and that contractor went into bankruptcy.  So a new contractor had to be brought in to rip the old footings out and prepare new ones.  I am not going to get too in depth with the problems occurring with this facility in Minnesota, because I am unsure what is the truth and what is just hearsay.  What I will say is that there are many challenges that remain for the Minnesota facility in getting things up and running.  Initially they were hoping to begin production at the end of 2014, when they were supposed to take over our pellet contract.  Now that seems to be delayed much further.  That is one of the factors involved in potentially keeping the Empire going a little longer.  But there are other issues that remain in shuttering the facility for good.

The big issue that exists in keeping the Empire running is the lack of ore reserves.  The facility first opened in the 1960's and has been producing magnetite ore since.  After over 50 years of production, one can understand how a mine such as ours is starting to run out of ore to produce.  Supposedly there's still three years of exposed ore that we can process.  Which, if ArcelorMittal can't get any pellets from their new partner, the Empire could get an extension on its existing contract until the new mine is ready to ship pellets.  Some are speculating that it could end up being a two to four year extension.  Beyond that, the future of the Empire definitely looks bleak.  Don't get me wrong, there is still ore out there to mine.  However, it would take a lot of digging and stripping to get at, meaning it wouldn't end up being very cost effective for Cliffs to do on their own, unless another partner stepped up and put the money up front needed to retrieve that good magnetite ore.  There would be a ton more of blasting needed to loosen up the material, then the equipment would have to travel farther to get to it, resulting in higher energy and fuel costs.   If the iron industry is in fantastic shape and there is a huge demand for ore, then by all means it could happen.  However I don't think the demand is quite at that point, although it does appear to be rebounding somewhat from earlier this year.

So as you can imagine, a lot of speculation and rumors are being spread across the Marquette Iron Range about the future of the Empire Mine.  The end of mine life is a real distinct possibility as ever before.  But as I discussed earlier, that end of life could be extended a little bit longer if the circumstances end up being favorable for the venerable facility.  Me personally, I hope the Empire keeps going for a little while longer yet.  There are a lot of good people I work with who could be negatively affected by a long-term layoff if the Empire closes.  The longer they can work, the longer they can save up their earnings and prepare for the eventual outcome.  It's simply not a matter of if the Empire closes, but when now.  Like I have been talking with a few people out there, the remaining year is going to be an interesting one for everybody involved.  It's just part of the ups and downs of working in the Marquette Iron Range, and has been that way for years.  Certainly never a dull moment.

The Backlash Against Paula Deen

I am breaking out of my blogging hiatus to discuss one of the bigger hot topic items that has been in the news lately.  It is regarding the Paula Deen situation, where she admitted that in her past, she has used the n-word. First and foremost, I will say that I do not condone the use of the word.  It's a derogatory word that is not used in a positive light in the African American community.  However let me say this; aren't we being rather harsh on Paula Deen?  I agree that it was wrong of her to say the word, yet it was in her past and she apologized for doing so.  When is it that an apology just isn't enough anymore?

Everybody's immediate reaction is to fire her and boycott everything that she was involved in.  Can't we all just take a step back and analyze the situation, and then come to a resolution?  I believe that anti-Paula Deen people are out to make an example out of her; that whomever has uttered the n-word in the past must be banished and never see the light of day again.  Deen lived and grew up in the south, where slavery was once a big problem in the early 1900's.  The carryover from that era is around the time when she grew up.  Like all things in life, it's hard to change a stereotype that has existed over many decades.  It's kind of like how gay marriage is becoming ore accepted.  For awhile, saying the n-word was accepted.  Eventually it became to be frowned upon and now, it's just plain wrong to say.  Deen admitted her mistake and she never said she said it recently.  Why can't we just let bygones be bygones?

I will say this, I had heard of Paula Deen before and she most notably made news for her success at losing weight, in addition to her success at making a living preparing wonderful food dishes.  But I just can't believe that all of that could come crashing down, just over an admittance of saying the n-word during her younger years.  Does that mean we should go back to the era when stoning a person, or cutting off their heads in a guillotine are accepted ways of punishing a person for their crimes?  Why is it accepted when African American rappers can used the n-word in their lyrics over and over?  To me, if they get away with saying it, why can't all of the races?  It's just a puzzling issue to me.

Typically I don't comment on hot button topics such as this one, but I felt I had to say something.  I believe that Paula Deen is getting a bum rap here.  Everything that she prided herself on, everything that she has built her success upon is being destroyed and judging from the backlash, she may never recover.  I feel bad for her to be in this situation because she seems to be a nice person.  She said she was sorry for her mistakes, why can't that be good enough?  What more can Paula Deen do to improve her public image?  Like I asked before and I'll say it again; why did it become that an apology just isn't good enough anymore?

A Not-So-Perfect Life

I found myself watching the movie "American Reunion" tonight and it really began to make me feel nostalgic. Yes I know, it's probably not the type of movie that most would find nostalgic. But every time I've watched it (tonight was the second time), it reminded me of my high school days. The movie centers around the cast returning to attend their high school class reunion. They graduated in 1999 and there are many times throughout the movie where 90's music plays and boy, it really hits home for me listening to those songs. At the end of the movie, they show flashbacks of the cast when they played their roles in the first film of the series, "American Pie." It's amazing how much younger they looked compared to the present. It really is incredible how time flies.

"American Reunion" was released in 2012, and considering the original cast graduated from high school in 1999, the reunion was held 13 years later (yes I know, we're not supposed to focus on that stat). However, to make a connection to my life, I graduated in 2000 and we are now into the year 2013. So, just like the class featured in the movie, this year is my 13th year away from high school. In some ways it feels like it's been forever, yet in other instances it doesn't seem that long ago. To be honest, I have moved on from my high school days (as I'm sure most have). As you may remember from my blog in the past, I did not attend my ten year class reunion three years ago. At the time, I did feel bad about missing it, but work kind of complicated things. There were a few people I would have genuinely liked to have seen and caught up with. However looking back at things now, I think it was for the best that I did not attend. A lot of my former classmates I really hold no connection with anymore. Most are spread out around the country. We all have basically moved on, formed friendships with new people and our high school lives are fading more and more with each passing year.

And now 13 years later, it's time to look at where my life has gone so far. The only thing I am really struggling with right now is my love life. Once again I am single, but am trying my hardest to remedy it. It's a situation that will take time to resolve. It seems that when you date people on-line, it's never a quick plunge into finding that special someone. There were a couple of times where I thought things were going on the right track earlier this winter, but things have gone off the rails lately. I know she's out there somewhere but it's often hard to wait patiently for her to walk through that proverbial door. I am beginning to wonder if things might go faster if I check out the bar scene or not. The simple fact is that I don't have that many opportunities to meet single women. At work, the male gender far exceeds the amount of women that work there, and I'm certainly not going to meet anybody sitting around at home. I have set a goal of 2013 being the year that I find the love of my life and so far it hasn't happened. But there's still a lot of the year left.

Well, I wasn't planning on turning this blog into one highlighting my relationship struggles. But it is what it is. I wish time would slow down a bit so I can learn to enjoy things more and not be in so much of a rush to find that special someone. I'm 30 years old now and I am not getting any younger. I know my parents are hoping for more grandchildren and I am hoping I am able to fulfill that desire for them. But it's pretty difficult to accomplish that when there's no significant other. As I look back, I made my fair share of mistakes when it came to women. I was often too shy to ask any of them out when I had the right opportunities. I sure wish I could go back in time and correct some of the mistakes I made in that regard. Maybe things would be a lot different than they are now. The rest of my life I really have no complaints about. So let's hope that 2013 ends up being a significant year where my life becomes truly perfect.