A Friend from the Past

I first saw him in my first grade class; a new student to our school. Actually, we had many new faces in our school that year because our school consolidated with another school over 11 miles away. He was one of the students from that school and would soon become one of my best friends. We weren't always in the same classroom together. Our class was one of the biggest in the elementary, so we always were split into two classrooms. If I didn't see him in class, I always saw him at recess and other kinds of assemblies. We were best friends; but we usually only ever spent time together at school and never away from there.

His name was Doug and was always overweight for as long as I knew him. But that did not matter to me, nor did it to my other friend, Erik. His wardrobe usually consisted of sweatpants, a t-shirt, and velcrow tennis shoes. He was a nice, pleasant, quiet kid and never got upset unless he was teased profusely. I remember this one instance where he was really mad. A couple of the girls from my class picked on him because he allegedly wet his pants and the girls picked on him for "smelling bad." I thought this was extremely harsh treatment for someone who would never say anything unkind about another person like that. At recess, he absolutely refused to speak to anyone; not even to me. Even when I tried to cheer him up, he would just walk away. I guess he just needed some time by himself. But it was unusual to see him so upset like that; but it was understandable why he was that way.

I never considered him to be obese by any means; but he was definitely pudgy. And someday if he happens to come upon this blog about him, I hope he realizes I mean no disrespect about him, because his weight was never a hindrance to our friendship. He never excelled at sports or in gym class. We once played against each other in little league and our team always handly beat his team; but we never fought over that issue. He either played first base or left field; it's hard to remember anymore. But his dad coached his team and I remember the games against them being some of my personal best. I don't know why that was; but I excelled. We would play kickball at recess and he'd sometimes kick the ball farthest than anyone playing in the game. Another fond memory of recess was when he and I, along with a bunch of other classmates glided along an area of ice that had formed somewhere in the school playground. Even though we had been told not to play on the ice, we still did. We all ended up getting caught and sent inside to write 100 sentences about not going on the ice. I think it was a shock to many people seeing myself, Doug, and Erik sent inside for getting in trouble because I'll admit we NEVER got in trouble. At the time I remember being very upset about this; but now I find it very funny. I even think I have those 100 sentences somewhere as a momento of that situation.

Doug and Erik both stood up for me one time during recess. We must've been in first or second grade and a group of us were playing on the slide in the back of the school. I can't remember the circumstances why we weren't allowed to play on the slide, for whatever reason. I think it was deemed unsafe since it was placed in the very back of the school where it was very hard for the supervisor to keep a watch on both areas of the playground. Anyways, somehow I got wrongly accused of being with the group that played on the slide. The third grade teacher at the time ordered all of the kids to line up against the school and she hollered at each and every one of us for going on that slide. I started bawling my eyes out because I never liked being yelled at; especially when I was being wrongly accused. Doug and Erik pleaded with the teacher that I was simply at the wrong place at the wrong time, but it didn't help. I don't think any of us got in any real trouble; we just got a good scolding. However, I can't forget Erik and Doug trying to bail me out like they did.

Another memory was when Doug called me on the telephone. I believe it was to invite me to his birthday party. I can't remember all that we talked about; yes we discussed the party, but that was basically it. I remember a dead silence on the phone for about five to ten minutes because neither of us could think of a thing to talk about! Eventually I just said "I've got to go," and we both said goodbye and hung up. But we were so young and naive at the time, and it remains one of those funnier memories that I have of Doug.

Back in the sixth grade, Doug was hinting to us that his family might be moving to a larger community 20 miles away. In fact, it seemed like he was always warning us about a possible move away from our school district throughout elementary; but it never materialized. I was glad because I hated the thought of losing my best friend. The same happened after the sixth grade; he returned to Superior Central for his seventh grade year. He lived in a very small and cramped home in his hometown and he had many relatives in the town his family was planning to move to. Also, I believe his parents worked near that community, so it only made sense to them. But to me, I was being selfish and didn't want to lose my best friend. Sure, I let Doug know that I didn't want him to leave, but then I didn't rant and rave about it, either. It finally happened in the eighth grade. During the summer before my eighth grade year started, I personally witnessed the partial demolition of his old home. We always went to church in his hometown so it was pretty common to see where he lived. As we drove by that summer day, I saw part of his house completely demolished and a backhoe still on the property. Since it was a Sunday, naturally nobody was there to work on it. But a few weeks later, the house was completely gone. My hope was that they were building a new house there, but even that seemed like a pipe dream considering that the property he lived on was very small. Nothing ever sprang up on that piece of property and it remains empty to this day.

When my eighth grade year started and we first met together as a class, I didn't see Doug. I searched and searched and couldn't find him. I had then overheard the news; Doug had moved away. You don't know how many times I had heard the threat about him moving away when I was in grade school, but to actually hear it be true, I was devestated. I honestly felt alone. My best friend Erik had become a prick over the summer and acted like my worst enemy. My eighth grade year probably was my worst one in school. In fact, it was a nightmare. But in time, I got over the fact that he had moved and had settled myself down during the new school year. On a few occasions afterwards, he would attend some of the basketball games at our school and I would briefly visit with him. Myself and a couple of other friends also had the opportunity to visit Doug and see him at his new home. But other than that, we eventually drifted apart. For awhile we'd send letters to each other; in fact, I received a letter from him right after the new school year started when I was in eighth grade about him moving away. Talk about too little too late. But eventually the novelty of writing letters wore off. We never called each other on the phone; both of us considered it too awkward, for whatever reason. Eventually, I never heard from him for awhile.

My grandmother had found a news clipping about Doug in the area newspaper where he now resided. It had his picture and he was working at the local golf club getting ready for the golfing season. This had to have been in the ninth or tenth grade, and he still looked basically the same. I kept onto that clipping and I still have it around somewhere. Then during my first few years in college, I had managed to be in touch with Doug's cousin through instant messenger. You could call it a chance meeting and she just happened to be his cousin. In fact, she saw Doug everyday. I about fell over when she told me he had the instant messenger, too! Shortly thereafter, Doug and I started talking again. We were getting caught up about all that we had missed in the last five years or so and it was really fun being able to talk to him again, albeit it not face to face. That only lasted for about a week until I never saw Doug on-line again. In fact, his cousin confirmed that he had gotten rid of his computer and was no longer on-line. I was a bit disappointed, but I didn't let it bother me. Another revelation that was a shock to me about Doug was that he had lost all of that weight that had plagued him during his tenure at Superior Central. He was slender, slim, and even more skinny than me at that time. I was floored and was hoping to see a picture of the "new" Doug. But alas, he never provided one and I soon never heard from him again.

His cousin and I chatted a few times after that. Apparently he is now married, own's a popular restaurant in his town (at the time, he was in the process of buying it), and was learning to become a minister. Whether he still owns that restaurant and is a full-fledged minister; I don't know. We lost contact and I hadn't heard from him in over four years now. In fact, I don't think we've had a face-to-face meeting in close to ten years. I have since moved on and accepted the fact that we are no longer friends and I believe there is no anymosity between us two. It's the distance that killed our friendship. Despite us not being friends anymore, I can never forget what he meant to me while I was in elementary. He was friend, a pal, a compadre and that is something I'll never forget. And maybe someday, somehow, we will get back in touch again.