Not Feeling Well...

I don't know what it is, but I've been living with a problem for far too long. I have my good days and bad. Right now I am just not feeling that great. And no, it's not a cold or the flu, either. I have been putting off going to the doctors for fear of tests and finding out exactly what's wrong with me. Three or four years ago, I went to the doctor for pain and discomfort on my right side just below the rib cage. I even had an ultrasound performed to see if there was anything wrong with my kidney or liver. Everything checked out normally. I had blood work done and even that came back normal. Then the pain went away. It wasn't a severe pain, but just discomfort and I'd feel uncomfortable in that part of my body. Every now and again, it would return, but would be gone within a week. I've also been living with a frequent dry mouth. It's one thing that never seems to go away. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and my mouth is so dry. This is a symptom that leads me to believe I may be diabetic, but I have not really experienced any other symptom - at least nothing obvious - than that. Diabetes is something I do not want to deal with. Checking your blood all of the time and giving yourself shots is not something I look forward to doing. But if my kidneys are starting to get affected, I better end this charade once and for all.

I can imagine some of you becoming quite concerned with the paragraph I just wrote above. Don't worry - I plan on making an appointment for myself tomorrow morning. I may need some support in the future whatever the diagnosis is for me. Like I said, I don't want to alarm anyone, but I am just putting people on notice that my life may change somewhat soon and I need people there to help me get through this (other than my family). You just never know what you're gonna find out when you go in for a check-up. If it's something like diabetes, then I can live with it. All I know is I need to take care of myself instead of letting this go on for days on end. Within the past few days, I've been experiencing discomfort from both my kidneys. The previous weekend, when I worked two 12-hour shifts, my left kidney was sore as heck. I thought maybe I had strained a muscle in my back, but I am beginning to think it may be something more. Once in awhile I get a pain in the center of my back near my spine as if something is there that shouldn't be, like a knot. On my right side below the rib cage, every once in a great while, I experience a very sharp sudden pain that makes breathing very difficult. But I am able to breath through it and the pain goes away. Like I said, that pain is very rare. But I experience it every now and again. These are just some of the symptoms I've experienced long term and short term. It's time to get myself taken care of once and for all.

You know, I've come to realize that life is way too short and I need to quit putting off going to the doctors. They are there to help anyone who has medical problems. And maybe my problem is that I worry too much. We can't always be healthy and many people need medication to make their lives enjoyable. Maybe that's my only problem. Whatever the case, I'm sure you'll hear more about it in the weeks and months ahead. This is the first time I am disclosing this on-line and this has been more or less a secret of mine for awhile. So to who ever is reading this, try not to be concerned about me. I have a lot of life to live and I have no intention to go down so soon.