Family Drama

I wish I could say I had a perfect family, but in recent days I've learned it's far from perfect. Since I am single, I have not yet started a family of my own, but I am hoping that eventually I will be able to. And maybe taking all of my life experiences into account up until this point will help in raising a family of my own. As I've watched over my parents relationship through the years, I've come to realize that marriage isn't all that it's cracked up to be. There's a lot of compromise to be had and if one side doesn't get their way regarding a certain thing, it could get ugly. My parents had a big fight earlier this week. Thankfully I was not around while it went on, otherwise I probably would've left. Not to get too descriptive as to what all went on (and only basing it from my mom's side of the story) - my dad uttered that terrible word that causes all marriages to cease existing - divorce. I couldn't believe it - in fact, I was shocked when my mom told me. And all the fight was about was my uncle and a satellite dish. But the thought of my parents possibly divorcing after 37 years of marriage was mind boggling. Sure, they had fights before - one instance I remember my mom yelling another word at my dad describing how she felt of him - hate. I never forgot about that - and yet, even though I was no where near their latest fight, I still can't get it out of my mind.

Needless to say, my mom is not a fan of my uncle - which would be my dad's brother. As long as I can remember, she has disliked the man, but maybe moreso in recent years. She claims he's never treated my dad right from the time my mom and dad met. She thinks my dad gets treated like a little kid by my uncle, even to this day. And I would have to say my dad tends to worship his brother - probably a little too much. There are many times during random conversation where his name gets brought up and my mom makes a face. My dad claims he always gets stuff from his brother and he does a lot of work for him. But more often than not, my dad also has to do a lot of the work before his brother steps in to help. It's kind of a complicated situation and I don't want to delve into it too much in case someone from my family happens upon this blog and reads what I have to say. But this family dynamic has existed for years and it finally came to a head this past week.

I don't have anything against my uncle; he's been nothing but nice and helpful to me throughout the years. I stayed over at his place many times during the summer while me and my cousins were growing up. All those experiences are fond memories now. My cousins and I never get together like we used to as we're all on separate paths. I just choose to stay out of either side of the issue that seems to divide my parents. My mom has been willing to compromise and be more accepting of my uncle in light of recent events. Obviously she wants her marriage to continue, however, she's not able to forget what my dad said to her about wanting a divorce. And their marriage may never be the same because of it. Like my mom said, if he actually said it, certainly he must mean it. And I feel bad for my dad, too. He was so distraught and angry over the whole situation, he started crying. I've never seen my dad cry other than at his own father's funeral. That image continues to haunt me. And I wasn't even there! Ugh, it's such an unpleasant situation.

Since then, my mom and dad have temporarily mended fences. They've gotten over fights in the past and I've got a pretty good feeling they will get over this one, too. But my mom is hurt by the things my dad said, no question about it. It's going to take her a long time to get over this situation. But heck, they've gone through 37 years of marriage already. I find it hard to believe that they're willing to end it all over something like this. And I just can't fathom my mom and dad ever being apart. If that day happens to come, it'll take a long, long time before I'll be able to accept it.

UPDATE: I am happy to say that things appear to be going very well for my parents since this incident took place. I spent a few days with them this past week and although my mom is still very hurt by the things my dad said, she is not letting that stop her from going forward.