Dealing with Anxiety

You honestly don't know what having anxiety feels like until you experience it first hand. I remember when my ex-brother-in-law took medication for it - and we'd secretly make fun of him behind his back for it (there's more to that particular story though, partially because he is no longer married to my sister). But having anxiety is no laughing matter - especially once you realize you have it. I have no doubt in my mind that I am suffering with anxiety these days. I've probably had it for some time but the sensation that the disorder brings has been getting worse and worse for me. Lately I just have not been feeling normal. I have been tense and worrying a lot lately - and for no apparent reason for it. My blood pressure is elevated, have been more irritable, especially at work, and have had certain bouts of headaches. I honestly believe it's related to work, although things there are better than they once were. I don't understand why people have to suffer from it but I know there are medications out there to help it. I certainly think that will be the next step I need to take.

I've had certain instances prior to this year where I've had anxiety attacks - but they've been brief and I've gotten over those particular attacks on my own. But I'm not much of a social person, especially in larger groups. Those certain situations make me tense, and most nervous. For awhile I was a fill-in boss where I work and it got to a point where I just became too nervous and stressed out to deal with that particular job. At work, especially in the industry I'm in, you deal with a variety of personalities. And when you're a boss, you try your best to make everyone happy. Well, ultimately no matter the decisions you make, you still manage to upset someone. I have to deal with a co-worker everyday who is very unpleasant to deal with and who I'd rather not having anything to do with. So to be his boss, even if it's on a temporary basis, is something that is a monumental challenge for me. So I gave up the fill-in bossing job because it became too much of a hassle and was stressing me out more than I was liking.

Earlier this year, I switched to the current crew at work that I am currently on. That's when the anxiety got to be more pronounced than ever before. It wasn't just a one-day thing; it lasted for weeks. Finally I began to get comfortable with my surroundings and the anxiety went away. Much of this summer, I was fine. But now, within the past two or three weeks, it has come back, and I really can't pinpoint a certain reason why that is. Like I said, I am comfortable with the situation at work now and my personal life is fine. So why am I feeling so lousy, like something bad is about to happen? I guess we don't understand why the brain acts the way that it does. I certainly don't understand why I am so affected by anxiety. I am a pleasant person with good intentions. Why am I targeted by this?

I have not yet gone to see somebody about this latest bout of anxiety but I think I ought to and the sooner, the better, too. No person should ever feel this way - and I'm not the least bit comfortable dealing with it, either. But I guess I am at a loss at where I should go. Do I go see my family doctor and talk to him about it? Or do I make an appointment to see a therapist? Part of me doesn't want to see anyone about it - thinking that it'll go away on its own and knowing that I'll need to take medication for it on a regular basis. Yet, it becomes a health concern for me. If I continue to ignore it, I know my health will go down hill. And I am hopeful that if I do see someone about it and get prescribed something for it, that it will change my life for the better. I guess all that remains to be seen. But yes, I have decided that I must see someone regarding my anxiety. It will lead to a much calmer life for me.