Four Eyes

Those who know me personally are aware that I wear glasses and have sported them for some time. They are part of who I am and help form part of my identity. I don't remember very much anymore as to why I needed them in the first place; probably because I had difficulty reading the chalkboard back in elementary school. I first started wearing glasses once I reached the fifth grade. But I didn't like wearing them - in fact, I wore them very little. I don't know what my issue was with glasses; maybe because they made me look completely different and they drew added attention to myself. I wore them as needed in school, but that was about the only time I really wore them at first. I had a relatively small prescription, anyways, so it's not like I could barely see without them. When I entered the sixth grade, that's when wearing glasses got even more difficult.

Once the new school year started and I was in the sixth grade, I was in class with a mix of different kids - all of them I knew very well since I attended a small school district. Some of them hadn't yet seen me wearing glasses yet, so once again, it was drawing attention to myself so I never wore them - not even for seeing the chalkboard. It got to the point where I was squinting to see the board from even ten to 15 feet away. Those with vision problems had to have an eye exam taken every year, and I was pulled from class to get an eye exam. The nurse looked at my records to see that I needed glasses but saw I wasn't wearing any. She questioned if I was wearing contacts and I wasn't. She asked if I had any glasses on hand, which I replied I did, but that they were back in my classroom. She instructed me to retrieve them, to which I did. But upon reaching the door of my sixth grade classroom, I held up. Our sixth grade class was split into two different groups because our class-size was one of the biggest in the school district. Sixth grade wasn't considered part of junior high when I attended school, but we did a "junior high" concept, where we would have classes with the other sixth grade teacher in the elementary. So in my classroom was all of the students from the other room, being taught by my teacher. I hesitated to enter the room; I was REALLY creating attention to myself by entering the room with these different faces, even though I knew them all and grabbing the case that held my glasses and exited the room. I wasn't able to gather enough courage to do it, so I retreated back down the hall to where the nurse was at and explained I had forgotten my glasses. She didn't seem particularly happy; and I didn't blame her. Needless to say, I failed my eye exam and was instructed to wear my glasses immediately. I still didn't comply.

Then came the parent-teacher conferences. In elementary school, it was mandatory for a parent to attend a conference with your teacher. My mom knew I didn't wear my glasses all that often and asked me if I was wearing them at school. I lied and said that I was. Apparently she didn't believe me, because she told me she was going to ask my teacher if I was. I knew my goose was cooked then. I didn't even fess up to my mom that I had lied about wearing my glasses. I just allowed her to go to the parent-teacher conference and find out directly from my teacher. Eventually I had to face the music with my mom; naturally she was pretty upset. She also forced me to start wearing my glasses with regularity. It was still a struggle - and I still didn't even wear them at school. My teacher ended up moving my desk towards the front of the room so I didn't have difficulty seeing the board. It helped, but in the back of my mind I knew I wasn't doing the right thing. I had a feeling my eyes were getting worse, too.

I couldn't even wear my glasses around my cousins for fear of what they would say. And I hung out with my cousins quite often when I was growing up. I knew them very well and knew they wouldn't have a negative thing to say. But I still couldn't do it. Finally I gradually started wearing them; even bringing them out to watch a movie when I was sitting across the room. They started to get comfortable for me and when I started the seventh grade, I wore them all of the time. At that point I needed to wear them regularly as my vision worsened. I made an effort to get contacts; but they just weren't for me. The woman at the eye doctor at the time wasn't very helpful to me in the whole contact process. She made it rather uncomfortable and I never ended up trying a contact in my eye and to this day I haven't. To be honest, I am actually pretty happy being an avid glasses-wearer. It takes away the struggle of having to insert this piece of plastic/glass onto my eyeball, which I don't think I would've had any luck doing. Would I like to get rid of my glasses forever and eliminate that part of my identity? Sure, I wouldn't mind. But it's not the end of the world if I don't. And to be frank, wearing glasses IS part of my identity now and I've grown so used to them. I think it would create a period of adjustment all over again just getting used to not wearing glasses.

I will say this though; if I could do it all over again, I would've worn my glasses with regularity when I first had to start wearing them. That's not to say I wouldn't still be stuck wearing them to this day; but at least my eyes probably wouldn't be in as worse shape as they are now. I let whatever negative thoughts I had get to me and I refused to wear glasses when they actually really helped me. When it comes down to it; most of my classmates probably would've said positive things about me having glasses on rather than negative. I realize that now; but when you're a young kid just entering your teenage years, you think a lot of people are against you. Looking back on it all, I wish I could've changed the way I went about things. But all in all, things worked out; and I have a belief that I look pretty stylish wearing glasses. There's definitely nothing wrong about that.