Closure

Nearly four months after her passing, my Grandma Lillian was laid to rest at the local cemetery yesterday. I have to say, I was expecting it to be a lot harder than it was. Maybe I didn't let myself absolutely fall to pieces at seeing her carried out of the hearse and onto the spot where she was going to be buried. But then again, seeing that it has been nearly four months after her death, enough time has passed where I've accepted it. Don't get me wrong, I was still sad. She was my grandmother after all; the closest I was to the two. But she is in a better place and no longer suffering. There were a couple of moments where I was about to get teary-eyed; specifically when the priest referred to her as "our sister" and how she was "sent to be with the angels in heaven." We all had the opportunity to stand next to her casket, but I felt that would just be too awkward with the crowd that was gathered there. We also could've watched her get lowered into the ground, but my sister was already a wreck during the memorial so be opted not to.

I was glad and rather humbled to see the crowd of people that showed up at my grandmother's burial service. I was expecting a much smaller group of people; generally just the immediate family. I would say at least 40 to 50 people were there and it actually warmed my heart that my grandmother had a healthy crowd at her service. She definitely deserved it. I even got to see a former teacher from high school there and a former custodian that I worked with for three years and whom became like a second mother to me. Obviously it's not the greatest of circumstances to see these people again, but nonetheless, it was still nice to see them after all these years.

After the service concluded, we headed over to the local Lutheran Church for a small luncheon. My grandmother had told my mom before she died that she did not care to have a public service like a wake, but she was open to having a small luncheon after her burial service. And I've got to admit, it was a perfect thing to have. I would say there was a large-enough crowd at the church and plenty of food. I got to speak with a bunch of people that I hadn't spoken to in quite some time and I even met a few others for the first time. Actually there was too much food as some of the items weren't even touched. But at least there was more than enough food than not enough. Once the luncheon concluded, we headed out to my grandmother's farm.

It's not a big secret that my mom's side of the family isn't particularly close. My mom was the only girl in the family and with three brothers, she was the closest to her mother. And after a visit to the farm, I realized that we probably won't be making too many more trips out there in the future. For my immediate family, grandma was really the only reason to go out to the farm. And our visits there really were few and far between. Unless our relationship with my uncles and cousins should miraculously change in the future, I just don't see how we'll need to be out there, particularly me. I was never around them that much growing up and I think it's too late in the game to start caring now.

All in all, my grandmother's burial brought me some closure of her passing but also left me with a bittersweet feeling. As I walked the grounds of the farm, I remembered certain spots that brought back memories of my time as a kid and young adult at grandma's. There were plenty of fond memories and a few I'd rather just forget. But then those were likely all of the memories that would accumulate from that point on at the farm. Without grandma, there's really no need for me to visit the farm. And so it would appear that that particular chapter has thus closed in my life.

A Small Town Closure

As some of you may know, I grew up in a small town; population of around 300 people. I know some people consider living in a small town to be a drag, because many of the people are like your neighbors and there's not a whole lot to do. But to be honest, I couldn't imagine living anywhere else when I was younger. It provided a great upbringing and I always found something to do. You develop a great loyalty to that place, even though you may not live there regularly anymore, which I don't. However, I frequently visit and continue to keep up with everything that happens there. Not a lot goes on, but when something does, you tend to hear about it pretty quickly.

In the past month, the local gas station in town shut down. It's been in the community for a long time and everybody has bought gas there at some time or another. Yes, gas does tend to be more expensive there than the larger populated areas nearby, but when you live some distance away from those places, you don't really have much choice than to fuel up there. And if you need a small amount of gas for a lawn mower, it sure beats driving miles down the road. It provides a great convenience for the community and the tourists driving by. And they didn't just sell gas, either, but many other items. Now there is doubt that it will ever reopen again.

According to talk around town, a gas line started leaking fuel into the ground. It's unknown how long it had leaked and the extent of the pollution, but it sounds it could be significant enough to where they may have to demolish the building. It appears the fuel even got under the building. A small co-op store a couple miles up the road had a similar problem 15 years ago and ended up shutting down for good. The costs for such a clean-up are quite expensive. They never tore down the building, but they had to excavate much of the polluted soil around the building. Plus they built a pollution monitoring station for the ground water and drilled many different wells. Something very similar could end up happening at this most recent case. And it's unfortunate it had to close down, because it has always done good business.

The business went under new ownership earlier this year and the new people seemed to be making some real positive changes with the store. They were putting some money into the place by doing a small amount of remodeling and rearranging the store. You hate to see someone who just moved into the area end up shutting down because of something like this. Usually it's because of finances or radical changes that turn people away. But this is an environmental issue and something that will likely take a long time to get fixed. When it's something like pollution, state environmental agencies will be on your back making sure everything is right before it's even possible to start selling gas. And what will hurt the most is that this business won't have a presense in our community for some time to come, if ever again.

As I mentioned earlier, the store ended up closing down about two to three weeks ago, so many of the details are still unknown. But when you live in a small town, you end up finding out one way or another. I'm sure this will be very much the same. Who knows exactly what will end up happening. Maybe the pollution is only minor and it'll take a few weeks to clean up. However, that's probably the best case scenario and usually it never ends up being that way. Time will tell and if we end up being without this gas station, maybe someone else in the community will step up and build a new store. You never know what will end up happening in a situation like this.