American Idol 9 - Top 5

Coming into tonight's episode, we have just a month left of this season and at the end of this journey, a new Idol will be crowned. I hate to be so negative, but I just have no enthusiasm for the finale this year. I don't know if it's because of the lackluster talent or the predictability of this season (not that I've been picking correctly in who goes home each week), but something is totally missing. I miss season seven and eight! Anyway, let's try and make the most of season nine and enjoy as much of it as we possibly can. This week the contestants perform songs from one of the legends himself, Frank Sinatra. And what a great mentor the contestants have this week in Harry Connick Jr. He's even helping to arrange the songs for them! What a cool guy. I hope this is a home run for all of the contestants this week.

Aaron Kelly - "Fly Me to the Moon" : Aaron has had his fair share of struggles as of late (however, last week was quite good for him, not surprisingly), and despite the criticism he gets from the judges, he's always positive and strives to improve. That's one thing you have to like about this high school student. As for tonight's performance, it was just okay for me. I wasn't jumping out of my seat because he didn't really do a whole lot vocally. I noticed a few pitchy notes and I thought the second half was better than the first. Sometimes when he stretches out a certain note, he goes off pitch. He has to continue working on his pitch problems, especially those in his upper register. He trended to strain a bit on some of those higher notes towards the end of the performance.

Casey James - "Blue Skies" : Casey has been molded into a decent lead singer in a cover band. However, there are times when he has shined on that big Idol stage - it seems to be during those performances where the tempo is softer and where he's able to show off his vocal talent. This week could work out very well for Casey if it's executed perfectly. However, it's executed horribly. It just goes extremely bad for Casey. He clearly shows that this is the wrong kind of music for him and he looks totally uncomfortable on stage. He tries moving to different points on stage but he looks so stiff. The singing is just way off; he's pitchy and his phrasing is horrible. Oh man, I had high hopes for Casey this week but it's just not working tonight. I'm afraid this may be the end for him.

Crystal Bowersox - "Summer Wind" : It'll be interesting to see how Crystal adapts to singing Sinatra songs tonight. What am I saying? She can sing anything! So far this season, she's stepped outside of her comfort level and have taken some pretty large risks, probably more so than any other contestant in season nine. So I am sure she can adapt quite well to performing a Sinatra song. And I must say she did a pretty good job tonight. I won't say it was her best and I am not completely comfortable hearing her perform these kinds of songs. However, she made it enjoyable to listen to and we got to see another side of the music machine that is Crystal Bowersox. I did think the beginning of the song was rather underwhelming compared to the last half of the song. Also, the band tended to drown out her singing towards the end. But vocally, it was quite good.

Michael Lynche - "The Way You Look Tonight" : Out of the five remaining contestants, I can definitely see Big Mike having the most success tonight. This is the type of music that he excels on. Maybe not so much the Sinatra-style of music, but more along the lines of a ballad. Those seem to be Mike's most memorable performances, when he's able to be vulnerable, emotional, and sing from the heart. And I must say, Mike was quite good tonight. Again, am I going to remember exactly what he sang tomorrow and how he sang it? Most likely, no. But so far tonight, he was far and away the best. Again, he sang the song with such emotion and you could feel his connection to the song. And yes, he still tends to be over dramatic on that stage, but that's just how he is. That's how he's able to remain comfortable on that stage and at least it's not completely awkward like Casey's stage presence.

Lee Dewyze - "That's Life" : First let me just say, nobody did "My Way" or "New York, New York"? That's rather surprising and a bit disappointing for me. Anyways, Lee is on tap with the pimp spot tonight. Let's see if he can close the show in a proper and memorable way. I've got to admit, I was a little worried with the way it started for me. I noticed a few off-pitch notes but Lee recovered quite nicely and made the song his own. Again, like a few of the other contestants, this is outside of Lee's comfort zone but he did a nice job of incorporating it into his style. Towards the end of the song he did get drowned out a bit by the band, but you could definitely tell it was Lee singing. He just continues to step it up week after week and after a couple of okay performances from Crystal the past two weeks, Lee is starting to inch his way ahead of her.

Top Five Performance Rankings:
1.) Lee Dewyze
2.) Michael Lynche
3.) Crystal Bowersox
4.) Aaron Kelly
5.) Casey James

Going Home: I think Casey's journey comes to an end after tomorrow. Last week he was in the bottom two, and that was after he delivered the best performance of that particular night! To me, that spells doom and gloom, especially after tonight's dismal performance. I think Aaron can be carried over one more week by the tween votes and Crystal is still a lock for the finale. As for Casey, I just think it's time.

Meaningful Songs in Times of Sorrow

The last few days I've been listening to songs that hold great meaning for me. There's one that's uplifting, others are reflective and one that's celebratory, of sorts. Some of them really help to bring out some emotion in me. If anything, they make me very sentimental. As I'm sure you know, this week has been pretty trying. Each new day is a tad bit better than the last; but it's going to take it's time. I can't expect myself to get over my grandmother's death in an instant; if I did, I'd consider myself to be downright heartless. Apparently I didn't realize how much of an effect she really had on me. Believe me, when she was in relative good health, she could be a pretty sassy woman. I know my mom would get disgusted with her in regards to some of her comments or actions. But I really think her illness tamed her. And I guess "illness" is the best way to describe it, because she had a multitude of problems. It's not like she had cancer; but it was very similar to cancer. Diabetes is what ultimately caused her death. It's been well over 10 years since she was diagnosed with it. As years passed by, her arteries got clogged. She even had to have some of her veins in her one leg bypassed because they were plugged. Then, arteries in her stomach became clogged and at that point, they couldn't do anything for her. They tried stents, but they were useless. She was in too weakened of a state to undergo bypass surgeries, so she was left to live out the rest of her life. And thus, that brings us up to the present day.

I got back to my apartment last night after an extended visit home. I was supposed to be back at work Tuesday morning but because of my grandma's death, I was on funeral leave for three additional days. Not exactly a great way to extend your weekend, that's for sure. But upon settling down, I walked over to the table and saw the Christmas cards I had received over the recent holidays. I picked up the one I received from my grandma with the signature saying "Love Grandma." I couldn't help but to tear up a little. I had other cards from various holidays stacked up under my table and I purposely went through the ones my grandma had sent. Each one holds a little more meaning for me now. Typically after awhile, I'd throw them out. I think I'll hold onto all of the ones I've collected from grandma for a long, long while.

Anything she gave me for gifts over the years will hold extra special meaning for me; there's no doubt about it. There are many shirts she's gotten me; one I've been wearing quite often lately because of our recent cold spell. It's a black and white checkered flannel shirt. It's so darn comfortable that I'll be wearing it a lot; as long as the weather stays cold. The slippers on my feet that I'm currently wearing were from grandma. The towels in my bathroom, the lunchbox in my closet, to the large canister of peanuts. Those are all from her. My grandmother may be gone in person, but she'll always remain with me in spirit. And all of those physical items will help me to remember her by in the years to come.

I hope for the readers of my blog, whether you follow it fairly frequently or check in every once in awhile - that you don't mind me rambling on and on about my grandma and her recent passing. I think in a way it's helping me to grieve by getting my words out there. In time, my blogs will return to discussing every day topics. But in the meantime, this is like a written memorial to my grandma. This blog initially started with a musical theme in mind but soon transitioned into my emotional state. Well, the meaningful songs I've been listening to lately have also helped me to grieve in a way. Their messages are poweful; and they really get you thinking about life. One of them I wrote about a little while back as part of my "inspirational music" series. It's a song by Kansas titled "Dust in the Wind."



Last but not least is a classic by ol' blue eyes himself; Frank Sinatra. I don't know how I happened to think of this song but it is just so fitting for circumstances like these. It's definitely a song of reflection, one of contemplation and of life choices. It's definitely a song that focuses on life and the decisions that went into completing this "life." And at the end of the day after the reflecting is over, this individual lived this life to their choosing because after all, "Yes it was (my) their way." It's none other than "My Way."